Tonight's cab story

'Round about 2:15a I had to drive around this cab parked in the middle of the road picking up people that should have been in my car and I saw this big, strappin' young man waving his arms somewhat frantically. Cuuute little boy too. He hopped in and said he needed to go to an open convenience store. He said he'd been running for quite a few blocks trying to find one, and/or a cab to take him to said store, none would stop for him.

Me: All rightee. I gotcha covered. Not from Ptld I take it?

He: Naw. Here for a wedding.

Me: Ah. Yours?

He: Hell no.

Me: So, whatcha doin' out this late? Beer run?

He: Naw. Lookin' for condoms.

Me: Ah. (blink) Well. (blink) Better to have 'em than need 'em.

He: Damn straight.

Me: You lookin' for a person to use 'em on as well or you got that part figured out?

He: She's waiting for me back at the condo.

Me: Well, at least you weren't a comPLETE waste as a Boy Scout.

He: I left about 15 minutes ago. She's really patient.

Me: Or sleeping.

He: I hope. Wait right here, I'll tip ya large, just wait here for me.

And he lopes off into the conv. store. Comes back about 2 mins later, still running.

Me: All good?

He: We're covered.

Me: after a second ... That seems a little bit premature, you aren't even back to her place yet.

He: after a coupla seconds I see the light bulb go on ... OH. No. Naw. I'll wait for that til I get back to the condo.

Me: You think yer gonna be able to wake her up?

He: Look at me, I got charm.

Me: I look at him intently for a few seconds and say 'Do ya? Hm.'

He: You don't think so?

Me: Doll, I'm the sober one here. You're nowhere near as charming to me as you think you are.

I just got that look from him.

When we pulled up to her condo (25 BLOCKS away) I said "Well. Good luck and all. Don't take home anything you can't be proud of ... or get rid of with a good dose of antibiotics."

He: Uhhhhhmmm, thanks. You're funny. But I think I'm too tired for sex now. Maybe I can just get her to make me some eggs and give me a pillow.



Karin said...

The life of a cab driver must be an entertaining one! It's too bad I'm not travelling to Portland anymore, or I would have a chance of running into you.

Seitherin said...

Hey, he may not have been Prince Charming, but at least he understands safe sex.


Susan said...

"Doll, I'm the sober one here. You're nowhere near as charming to me as you think you are. "

OMG!! I am rolling on the floor laughing at that one!! I am sooo in the wrong profession...

Jules said...

Men! Don't you just LOVE them?? Your mermaid is stunning. Wish I could be as fast as you, you can actually see progress after one of your stitching sessions. I'm poorly today so no work so hopefully I can get a decent amount stitched (between trips to the toilet!!) Have a good week. x

Jenna said...

ROFL. What a love!

Sharon said...

That was hilarious! Great way to start the morning!